The Planner

The Planner

 

It’s 4 AM in the morning and I can’t seem to sleep. Lately, my mind has failed me, I can’t seem to get out of this blankness. My family and my friends always describe me as a goal oriented person. A person who’s always prepared or a person with a well laid out plan. Literally, now though my mind is blank. For the first time of my life I’m going to proudly admit that I have no idea what I want to do next. I have absolutely zero clues about what the hell is happening in my life. 

“ A black mind is more disheartening than a blank page for a writer.” 

I’m not really confused or lost or demotivated. Maybe I’m at this untaught state because life is trying to teach me that plans don’t always go as planned. Have you ever faced or stumbled through situations where others tell you what to do next in your life and why that their suggestion is what’s best for you? Suddenly you are the topic of today’s gathering where a person loudly states that you should work and another states that you shouldn’t rush things and just volunteer, another suggests that you should join a gym or go to driving school or pick up a new hobby and it suddenly turns into this huge unwanted debate. However, your contribution to this debate is a simple nod or a smile because the minute you open your mouth and the words I don’t know comes out of it, everyone who heard you state it will turn into a life coach. 

At moments like these the last thing a person like me would look for is advice or guidance. Maybe the things that I’d look for would be related to acceptance or reassurance because there’s absolutely nothing wrong or weak about being in this expressionless state. 

The best way to describe this is through imagining that you are this amazing writer but somehow you’re going through a writer’s block. Suddenly, your unable to write and you have no clue about how to proceed with writing. At moments like these most writers seek inspiration maybe that’s what a blank minded person needs. 

Currently, I may have a featureless mind, and I’m totally okay with that because I’m sure that I’ll figure it out at my own pace. What I’m trying to say is that people shouldn’t be scared if they ever cross or stumble upon such a phase in their lives because it shouldn’t be viewed as a major crisis. Yes, I’m at a clean slate now and that’s perfectly fine because I learned that  you don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe, trust the process, let go and see what happens. 

“Put your heart, mind, intellect and soul even to your smallest acts. This is the secret of success.”

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